Rethinking Kinks

Have you ever changed your mind about a kink? Thought you liked something and it turned out you didn’t? Thought you didn’t like something and it turned out you did? What do you think made you flip?

(This month’s /r/dommebloggers topic was submitted by Dommeluck and selected by me.)

It took a while after reading this question before I found my answer. I happened to be taking this quiz (, recommended by Domina Jen) that tells you what percentage of different kinks apply to you, and I kept answering “strongly disagree” to questions about wanting to battle for dominance or having to make your sub submit. Instinctively, I just felt like it wasn’t my thing. But when I got to the end results and read the description of a Brat Tamer, I liked the sound of it. Even though this was the kink that those particular questions were leading to.

I guess the idea stayed in my head, because a few days later I was mulling it over again. My instinct was to say no, it doesn’t appeal to me, because I consider myself the kind of dom who likes to nurture rather than discipline—I like to call him a “good boy,” not a “bad boy.” But what I realized is that there’s an area somewhere in between that I also like, where a sub acts out in a teasing way, just to be frustrating. I’ve always been weak to mischievous boys. When they get that glint in their eye and that uber confident playfulness, I can’t resist. So if he’s being a brat just to stoke my flames, then I find it incredibly hot. What I’m not a fan of is the kind of play where I have to force him to submit when he doesn’t want to. Key in the idea is that it still has to be clear that he wants it, even within the scene, and he’s acting out just to get to me. I like mischief, not resistance.

So I guess I do like the idea of “making” a sub submit, after all. As long as it’s in this context. When there’s a mischievous boy involved, I’m there.