As part of the /r/dommebloggers group, I wanted to address this month’s writing prompt, regarding sexiness and desire:
As women, we hear a lot that to be “sexy” means being desirable/desired. But if we’re doing the desiring (or even the up-against-the-wall kissing!), is there still room to feel “sexy”? Or maybe you think of being “sexy” and being desirable as two different things? How do you like to know that your partner desires you, and how do you like to express your desire for them?
It’s true that as a dom who likes touching more than being touched, I’m much more focused on a sub’s sexiness than my own. If I’m touching him and having my way with him because he’s too cute, I’m not thinking about myself. I’m expressing my own desire.
But there’s still room for sexiness, and the way I understand it for myself is to imagine that a boy submits not just because it’s in his nature, but because he’s aroused by me. That means not just by looks, but by personality, demeanor, and my ability to turn him on with my actions. When I think of my own sexiness, I think of being on top of a boy and seeing the glazed look in his eye as he looks up at me. I imagine him wanting my body and my energy to consume him. That’s what “sexy” means to me.