Question for Readers

I want to pose a question to you all: What are some things that you wish you saw more often in erotic works? I’m thinking mostly of forms of writing, but feel free to answer for other erotic art forms as well. Is there anything you like that you feel is under-represented? Is there anything you want that’s hard to find? It could be a definable category or just a nuanced characteristic.

I know I certainly feel this way, but I want to hear about the kinds of things other people find are lacking in erotic media. How many people wish there was more content for them, and how would you describe that content?

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12 thoughts on “Question for Readers

  1. I am biased, but femdom from the woman’s perspective where she is pursing genuine pleasure, rather than serving as a conduit to fulfill a male fantasy (both story and video).

    I also like the themes of public groping and also sex which starts with a gentle resistance/coercion element (not extreme vIolence), or reluctantly escalated massage. The only decent things I’ve seen on these are from Japan. It would be cool to find more well-done stories or American videos with these elements.

    What do you feel is missing?

    • Regarding groping, resistance, massage: I can see myself enjoying those things, but I haven’t looked for them, and haven’t noticed the lack of them. That’s very interesting to me. Thanks for your comment!

      For my tastes, the thing that’s lacking the most is stories where women are on top (i.e. penetrating) and it isn’t just a kinky roleplay. The only stories I ever see with women topping like this are brief departures from real life. They’re either targeted to male fantasies or they’re a married couple trying something new. For once, I would love to see a woman who just simply prefers it that way. It can be tied to femdom or not. Like you, I too want to see erotica where the woman is pursuing genuine pleasure. I would love to see any femdom focused on female desire/pleasure, but of course I have my own preferences.

      There’s also a distinct lack of emotion and caring in the femdom I’ve seen. I crave stories where sex is interwoven with a couple’s life, and you see the sweetness of their relationship through their sexual encounters.

      It’s interesting that Japanese media is the only place you’ve found those things, because it’s also the only place I ever see the kind of male sexuality that I’m attracted to. Boys in Japanese manga, especially when they’re the “bottom” in male/male relationships, are essentially the model of what I like. Cute, androgynous, youthful, submissive. Almost “soft.” Erotica is definitely missing boys with that sort of air about them. Especially when it’s a female/male relationship. (Manga isn’t perfect either, mind you. I wish it had more boys with autonomy. But sometimes you can find that.)

  2. I agree with dommeluck, as I enjoy the female perspective. We have had some GREAT times with femdom, but I find myself wondering: is she doing this for me, or does dominating me really appeal to her? Sometimes I think she genuinely likes it, sometimes I’m just not sure. We have been married for 20+ years and I still don’t feel I understand what is going on her mind.

    I haven’t found a lot of erotica where the male penetrates but does not climax. There are a lot of teasing and chastity videos, but some of the most erotic sessions I’ve had with my wife were when she told me to penetrate her but made it very clear to me that I was not allowed to come. I penetrate her while she uses the vibrator on her clit until she climaxes but throughout the session she tells me repeatedly not to come and to pull out if I am getting close. I really like it when she gets possessive of my orgasms!

    While I don’t really enjoy watching porn with condoms, it’s a reality for most people until they are firmly committed, and I think they should show the process of putting them on. When condoms are used, they always sort of “magically” appear. When I had to wear condoms, it was pretty erotic for my wife to “help” me with them.

    • I’m glad to hear that you, too, want more of a female perspective. It reinforces to me that this is badly needed in erotica.

      Oh, that’s an interesting point. I’ve actually been writing more penetration without orgasm lately, though for me it’s usually m/m. But I would actually love to see more of this as well—as teasing, as chastity, or just as another sexually intimate thing for two people to do. I think there’s a lot to explore there, and I’d like to do more and see more of that in writing. Thanks for bringing this up.

      I do think that our culture would benefit a lot from seeing more condoms in erotica. And definitely showing the whole process would help people to see the act as sexy.

      • I thought about my condom comment after I posted, and feel it was a bit incomplete. What I meant is that in erotic realms, I do not like how things like shifting positions, disrobing, sexy talk, etc. are sanitized away. It seems to me like a lot of porn has to do with them jumping right into sex with the woman unrealistically screaming the entire time.

        A big part of what turns me on during sex with my wife is the playful banter before the session begins, the rush of excitement I get from taking her and/or my clothes off, the “transitions” that happen during a session such as moving from foreplay to intercourse, changing positions, and even the post sex talk about how powerful her orgasm was, things like that. In most porn, the guy is already rock hard and just slips his pants off (no underwear) and they cut out all the “transitions” such as putting a condom on, changing positions, etc.

        I wouldn’t go so far as to say our bedroom is a library, but my wife is pretty quiet (soft, yummy purrs if I’m doing something right) during sex until her orgasm, which she normally gets quite loud and vocal. I don’t buy “When Harry Met Sally”. Why on earth would my wife fake an orgasm, and there is no way she could pull off the performance she does when she is truly coming. If she wants me to come, she usually hastens it with dirty talk that gets me so hot and bothered that I can’t help but coming.

        Well, I guess that goes back to my comment about focusing on the female orgasm. One of the hottest porn scenes I saw was this couple were having sex on a bed, the female clearly came and then she walked out of the room, got a smoke or a snack or a water or something (took her time), and the male sort of just waited for her, stroking his cock only to maintain his erection. When she was ready, they started up again, I believe she came again, then he came.

        Why was that so hot for me? It’s more like “real life”. When my wife comes, she needs a break and if she grants me an orgasm, I simply wait until she is ready and the we pick it up again.

        In addition to that, I absolutely hate it when the guy jerks himself off. WTF? A male should either come in her, by her hand, or not at all. Again, for me, the focus should be on the female orgasm and not an ejaculation as a finale event.

        Sorry for the ramble.

  3. I am with you KWSWBlog – we definitely need to see more stories of where the Woman is on top, pegging, Femdom Erotica in which the whole act is about the Woman, the Woman’s pleasure, the Woman’s domination of the situation.

    Pegging is definitely a growth area in erotica that as it comes more into the mainstream will normalise this sort of sexual activity amongst both Women and men. It is important to let Women know the great enjoyment they can have out of indulging in pegging. In terms of Female-male penetration it is definitely a lot safer way to go than more traditional methods – given these obvious benefits there is a great deal support the premise that Female pegging of males is a great way for both partners to enjoy a consensual and exciting sexual relationship.

    • I definitely agree that representing it more in erotica and media will help normalize it as a sexual activity. I think there are many women who would love pegging but have just never considered the idea. And men too, of course. I love the idea of helping to normalize the idea in our culture.

  4. I hope I’m not late to the party;)
    I’d like to see more of the woman taking her pleasure — for me that means groping the boy, stripping him while she remains clothed. smacking his ass in several positions, teasing him.
    Then pushing him down on the floor, standing over him (in a skirt) and dropping panties on his face, slowly descending on his mouth and using him until she’s sated. I like when she rides him hard, using his chin and mouth.
    After she’s had all the cunnilingus she wants, she rolls over, gets comfortable and he gives her soft anilingus.
    An mFm threesome is hot too. Perhaps a nice four handed massage for her, evolving into a body worship session. As this is happening she occasionally plays with their cocks and fingers their holes.
    Then maybe has them both on all fours and takes turns penetrating them? or ordering one to penetrate or suck the other?

    • Thanks for the comment. 🙂 I see that erotica with the woman acting for her own pleasure is much needed. I plan to write a lot of that myself, with the focus on the woman’s mind and desire, so I’m glad in that way. But I wish there was more out there.

      I really like your scenario. And mFm as well. I have to say, when it comes to threesomes, my mind usually comes up with scenes of FmF, or FmM. I guess I just like the idea of a cute sub being shared. But mFm is super hot too. I think more threesomes in general are needed. I’d love to see that.

      • I’m glad you liked what I wrote. The mFm scene happened to me — I went to some femdom parties, where, after a social hour, the men removed all or nearly all of their clothes (thongs and ribbons around the neck were allowed), while the ladies dressed in whatever turned them on.
        I had brought a massage table and offered to massage the woman who had earlier been kind enough to bend me over and smack my ass. She assented; I recruited her other pet, instructed him to mirror my actions and we gave her a wonderful four-handed massage.
        When it became clear she wanted more, (well, *after* it became clear, I like to tease) we began to worship her sexually. There were ~25 people at the party and they were all watching. Our massagee started coming and didn’t stop. I think she came for 45 minutes. It was truly amazing. Afterwards I should have taken her to a bedroom upstairs and cuddled her between us. She took me to her place after we left and used me some more. )
        We played a few more times. Good times!

        • I like a woman who not only knows what she wants, but takes it, knowing that taking it is what the boy wants too .
          As in: While we were massaging her (see above), she casually felt us up, fondling our cocks (I was nicely erect, he wasn’t 😉 and reaching under us and pushing her fingertip up our bums, in full view of the audience. Nothing says Domme like casual penetration of the boy’s bum in public.
          Later that night, after she had me follow her home, she pushed me on my back and mounted my face. I like that.
          She did another interesting thing– while we were fucking she squeezed so hard she shoved me out; I shoved it back in (I have a moderately larger than average cock), she pushed it out… and we went on like that for quite a while.
          There was an aggressive, passionate give and take that I hadn’t experienced before. She was using and meeting / mating the conventional male penetrative thrust with with an equally powerful female thrust. Very erotic. Of course it was only possible because of my superior tantrical power of not coming under such an onslaught of hungry femininity (he said, preening).
          I think she mounted my face once more and sent me home, well used, before her child came home.

          • I appreciate the elaboration on that scene, because the details sound very nice. I agree that nothing says domination quite like that.

            And that idea of “female thrusting” is so interesting. It sounds like the kind of thing a dom could have a lot of fun with. That’s a way of taking power that I’ve never been exposed to before.

            I also like the phrase “hungry femininity.” 🙂

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