It’s About His Body, Not Mine

Maybe this is an odd way for a dom to feel—I’m not sure. I’m still a novice in my education about the BDSM community. All I know is that my desires revolve around touching, not being touched.

Rather than being pleasured, I want to have. I want to take. For me, it’s an entirely mental satisfaction, rather than physical. I couldn’t care less about having the attention on me.

For similar reasons, I do not want to dress up my body in leather to dominate him. I may wear certain things by request, but I’m uncomfortable with a lot of fetish clothing. No nurse’s outfit, either, or skimpy things. I’d rather wear my own style and be attractive to him that way. “Can you put on that grey sweater I love?” is more what I have in mind.

There are some things I may let a partner do to me, if he wanted to. I want his desires to be fulfilled too, and if he desires my body, I’d be willing to explore that (albeit cautiously). But there are things that I would not do—like be the receiving partner in sex. If he wants me to penetrate him, I’ll do so with utter glee, but I’m not up for switching.

The things I wouldn’t do are often the things that make me feel like a sexual anomaly, with little to relate to. I know I must not be alone in this. Trust me, I do know that. But my impression of mainstream BDSM is that femdoms want their subs pleasure them. And while I think that’s awesome, it just isn’t me.

I’m not interested in my body—I’m interested in his. Be a good boy and let me have my way, will you?

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4 thoughts on “It’s About His Body, Not Mine

  1. There is quite an emphasis on the media (both mainstream and not) of the femdom commanding her sub to pleasure her, and while it’s absolutely legitimate, it’s only one half of the coin. It was really nice to see the other side examined, especially so well. There is quite a lot of pleasure to be had from “taking”, from being the one who acts, rather than the one who receives. I love both halves of the coin and I flip back and forth depending on my mood or partner, but I can definitely see having a preference for the more active role. Really lovely post.

  2. I really enjoyed this. I like having others in control of what I do.
    I posted something similar to this once. I had a add up where I was the one in control of anything relationship wise. I was the secret third wheel that only one or both of the parties knew about. For instance, if I wanted them to have sex, I would give them permission to have sex. They were not allowed to have it otherwise. I would say when oral would take place, anal or even how long they were to do it before reaching orgasm. I also told them when and what gifts were approved for each other and gave suggestions and even when and where to go on dates. It was a blast, but hard to keep interest as I was the one who really wanted to have the control bestowed upon me just as I was dishing it out. I got to know the couple well; where and how they met, what each other liked food wise and even sexually, and then became the master of what happened in the relationship. Much more details went into this but it was fun non the less. Let me know if you want to take a stab at it 😉

  3. Greetings! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to
    give a quick shout out and say I truly enjoy reading your blog posts.

    Can you suggest any other blogs/websites/forums that go over the same
    topics? Many thanks!

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